If you have a picky eater in your family – you are not alone – most American households have at least one.
Picky eating is very common in toddlers, and as long as parents continue to offer a wide range of healthy choices and do not cater to their pickiness, many kids will outgrow this stage. But picky kids can become picky teenagers and even adults if allowed to continue eating “kid food.”
Our bodies need antioxidants, vitamins and minerals to support all cellular functions. Picky eaters generally consume a very narrow range of foods, which tend to be lacking in nutrients and fiber. This can lead to nutrient deficiencies, lowered immune system, constipation, and even other problems like delayed growth and bone strength/ density problems (read Building Strong Bones in Kids). Eating a highly processed diet also increased the risk for weight gain and all degenerative diseases including heart disease and diabetes later in life.
The younger you can start, the better, because as kids get older – their eating habits get more “set” and difficult to change, and they are more independent – making more decisions on their own. But it is never too late to start improving dietary habits – even picky adults can do it! Just don’t expect a picky eater to change over night – for some, it can take months, even years!
1. Ditch the “kid food.” Feeding kids a separate dinner, or always give them “kid-food” will not help a child to expand their palate. Besides the extra time it takes to prepare a separate meal for the kids each night, most “kid food” tends to be nutritionally deficient. In order for kids to develop their palate, they need to be exposed to a wide variety of foods, sitting down to the same meal together helps children explore different tastes and flavors. How else is your child going to develop the taste for salmon or Brussels sprouts – if they are never exposed to it? Sometimes due to parent’s work schedules this is not possible for everyone to sit down together, so having a family meal whenever possible is a good plan. A recent study showed that eating together as a family encourages kids to try new foods. Eating together as a family has also been shown to offer other benefits, read Bring Back the Family Meal for more info.
2. Follow a 90/10 rule. It is the things we do most of the time that have the biggest impact on our health. The 90/10 rule is a good “real world” plan. It encourages healthy choices most of the time, but allows for some flexibility. On this plan, 90% of the diet comes from “healthy” nutrient dense foods, and the 10% left can be “splurge” foods. The Obama’s shared that their family followed this plan when their girls were young. The 90/10 Rule allows for occasional treats, but only if kids have eaten a primarily healthy diet, such as having 5 servings of vegetables and fruits. Even getting to an 80/20 ratio would be a big improvement for many! Too often, kids who eat very few to no vegetables at dinner (or all day) will then fix themselves a huge bowl of ice cream or another sweet dessert. My husband came up with this rule – “your dessert can not be bigger than the serving of veggies you had for dinner.”
3. Stop the power-struggles. Some kids are picky for attention, or to exert their independence. Instead of giving them attention for negative behavior, focus on and encourage the positive. You could set up a reward system – put out a jar, and let them earn marbles or coins for trying new foods, or eating their veggies. If they are getting more attention for making healthy choices – that will reinforce the “good” behaviors. Another strategy is to offer 2 choices that you can live with – “would you like a salad or broccoli with dinner tonight?” When kids are able to make a choice, they feel more independent and in control.
4. Have FUN! Humor is also a great tactic for breaking through power struggles – be silly and have fun at mealtimes. One way to make food fun is to cut it into fun shapes. I like to use little fondant cutters to cut fruit & veggies into fun shapes, kids also like to make melon balls. Put the shapes and melon balls onto skewers – and stick them into a watermelon that was cut in half and put upside down – and you have a beautiful centerpiece (see eHow video). Set up a salad bar at home. The kids get their lettuce, and then add the different veggies that they like – red peppers, carrot shreds, etc. Link this into the rewards system, and they get points for trying a new veggie, or for each one they add to the salad. Experts even encourage kids to play with their food – our kids like to eat their Brussels sprouts with their hands and peel off each layer – hey, they are eating and loving their Brussels sprouts, so why quabble about table manners at this point? If we were out to a nice dinner – we would probably discourage eating with hands however.
5. Keep Track. When kids are paying attention to how many fruits and veggies they really are eating every day – it can be eye-opening (for parents too!). You could create a food chart, or I have seen great success when kids use Silly Bandz to track their daily fruit & veggie consumption. Simply put all of the bands on their left wrist in the morning, and each time they eat a serving (not a bite) of fruit or veggies – they get to move 1 band to the right wrist! The goal should be to have at least 5 or more on the right wrist at the end of the day – it is a fun, visual & tactile way to keep fruit & veggies on the brain & stay motivated. You’d be amazed at how motivating it is to move bands over. If you are sitting down to dinner and all the bands are still on the left wrist, it says something about their diet that day (and often their energy and mood will coincide)!! Some families might decide to make dessert conditional – the daily veggie and fruit goal must be met in order to have dessert (this goes back to the 90/10 rule).
6. Food is Fuel. Help kids understand how foods affect how their bodies feel and function. Sugary cereals or doughnuts for breakfast can cause them to crash and burn, that kind of fuel won’t help them “ace” their test or help get their team to All-Stars. Teach kids to be “intuitive eaters,” to think about how a food makes their bodies feel or function. Many foods (like sugary foods) make you feel great for about 15 minutes, but then your body crashes, along with your mood and your brain function. Some foods can cause digestive troubles too. Help you child connect to how a food makes them feel – 30 minutes, 1-2 hours after eating it. So if they overindulge in candy, cookies or another food that leaves them feeling icky – use it as a learning opportunity. Ask them how all that sugar made their body feel. Some people live their whole lives and do not make the connection between what they eat and how their body feels. Helping kids to do this is an incredible skill to develop that could serve them for the rest of their lives.
7. Encourage “Adventurous” Eating. Instead of pointing out that they are a picky eater, which is what you DON’T want them to do – focus on the behavior you wish to encourage. Encourage them to be an “Adventurous Eater!” When I taught School Assemblies – I would ask kids if they would like to go for a ride in a hot air balloon, or zip line in Costa Rica? Most kids say “yes.” I say that if they are adventurous with what they like to do, they can also be more adventurous with what they eat – they have nothing to lose! I always tell them that there might not be buttered noodles or pizza in Africa, so they should start training their taste buds now to be a world traveler. Plus picky eating is soooo 2012! When you see them trying new things and being adventurous in their eating – praise them to reinforce the behavior and give them attention for good behavior.
8. Purge the pantry. Some families simply need to clean out the refrigerator and the pantry to remove the temptations for a little while. Toss out the sugary sodas and other sweet drinks, cookies, candies, sugary cereals, processed snacks, and more. Even fruit juice can be trouble – as even though it is natural, it is still a big jolt of sugar. Replace them with lots of veggies, whole fruits and whole grains, nuts, and other healthy choices. A week or two might be all you need to “rebalance” habits and cravings. The more sugar a person eats, the more they want, so getting rid of it for a while can be a good strategy to reset their taste buds. The kids will likely protest for a few days, but you might be surprised at what they end up choosing for dessert when there is no ice cream or cookies around.
9. Stop the snacking!! Kids today eat about 30% of their calories as snacks, according to a study from the U. of North Carolina. But many snacks and kid foods are empty calories, with lower nutrient-density. Kids that are allowed to snack all day long and right before meals, will come to dinner with their bellies already full of “snack food”, leaving no room for the meal being served. If kids sit down to dinner hungry, they are more likely to eat what is served. European kids snack very little, and they tend to eat 3 square meals a day, and eat the same meal as the parents, and therefore they have much more sophisticated palates. If your child has not eaten since lunch and is looking for a snack before dinner – put out a tray with a selection of colorful veggies with dip – some baby carrots, snap peas, red pepper and other chopped veggies. Put out some hummus or another dip to make it fun. We like to use colorful mini bowls for dips – it makes it more fun, and they use less of the dip. Summertime is a great time to boost the fruit and veggies – they are in season, so they are less expensive, more plentiful, and as ripe and delicious as ever! When you bring home the veggies, wash and cut them so they are ready to eat when the kids ask for a snack.
10. Experiment. Try raw, cooked, roasted… Someone who does not like cooked carrots – might like them raw dipped in dressing. Roasting vegetables brings out the natural sweetness of that food, so vegetables roasted in the oven tends to be sweeter than the steamed kind. Make sure to not overcook vegetables – mushy vegetables don’t look or taste appealing to anyone, plus much of the nutrition ends up in the water if overcooked. Baby spinach is very mild tasting – if you chop it up well – many kids might surprise you and eat a spinach salad, which is packed with nutrition.
11. Turn them into a Top Chef. If they cook it – they will eat it, or at least they will be more likely to try it! When kids cook “they come to at least try the food,” said Isobel Contento, professor of nutrition education and co-author of a study conducted at Columbia University Teachers College. So get your picky eater into the kitchen, or sign them up for some healthy kids cooking classes. If a kid cooks it – they will want to try their creation. Sometimes, kids can really get into cooking, and can even be a big help around the kitchen.
12. Ditch the sodas. Kids who drink sodas regularly eat more and also have a higher risk of heart disease later in life. Replace sodas with plain ole water throughout the day. A large percentage of kids simply do not get enough water during the day, which can lead to chronic dehydration and other related problems. For a treat, we like to make “fresh fruit fizzies.” To make them, you squeeze fresh citrus fruit into a cup, and add some sparkling water. If it is not sweet enough, stir in a little squirt of raw local honey or organic agave nectar – and voila! You have a fun antioxidant rich healthier soda, they are fun to make too.
13. Serve veggies first. Picky eaters often leave their veggies for last on their plate and claim they are “full.” Serve the veggies first when they are hungriest – or hold off on any seconds until the veggies have been consumed. One of the biggest challenges with picky eaters is getting them to eat (and love) veggies. I promise you – it is not impossible! I love this book called Adventures in Veggieland – written by Feeding Specialist Melanie Potock. It contains 100 kid-tested fun vegetable activities and recipes to help them grow to love vegetables!
14. Whip up a smoothie! Smoothies are a great way to pack in the nutrition. Instead of a lot of juice start with a whole orange as your base. Add in some frozen blueberries, a frozen banana and some vanilla protein powder. I like to add spinach or a greens powder to my kids’ smoothies – if blended well, they don’t even know it is in there – and spinach is high in vitamin k, vitamin A, and magnesium. A Vitamix is a good tool for families with picky eaters, yes they are expensive – but they last for decades, and are powerful blenders that can remove all the texture from foods – important for a texture-phobe. They allow for easy inclusion of vegetables into smoothies.
15. “Enhance” foods. I don’t call it sneaking, or hiding, I call it enhancing. I enhance everything I make for myself whenever I can, why not my kids? Chia seeds and kale can boost the nutrition in smoothies, butternut squash makes a delicious “cheesy” pasta dish. This approach is great for texture-phobes – as the texture is removed by pureeing the vegetables first. Some people think this tactic is deceptive – read: Is Hiding Fruits & Veggies Deceptive, Or a Solution to the Obesity Crisis? Weigh in with your opinion in the comments below. Try cookbooks like The Sneaky Chef and Deceptively Delicious for some “boosted” recipe ideas.
16. Taste Buds Change. I always teach kids the “15 Tries Rule.” Because taste buds can change overtime, before you can say for 100% sure that you don’t like a food – you should try it at least 15 times. Studies show that it sometimes takes 15 exposures to a food for someone to develop an affinity for a particular food. So remind your picky eater that just trying a food once or twice is not enough – they need to try it at least 15 times. As long as they at least take one bite each time that food is served – they are giving it a try. Some people call it a “No thank you bite.” Encourage them to keep trying, and if they try it and do not like it, do not force them to keep eating it. Praise them for at least trying. They will be more likely to try it again next time. How do you know if you don’t like it if you don’t at least try it? I tell kids that if they have not tried a food in a while – they might just surprise themselves and love it! This is another reason that I like to enhance foods – even if we do not know the food is in there, or taste it consciously – our taste buds are getting exposed to it, and so it helps us to develop our palate for that food over time.
17. Boost spices & flavor! So often, picky eaters are fed a diet of bland and boring foods like buttered noodles and nuggets. Often parents mistakenly think that picky kids prefer foods lacking in flavor. Surprisingly, many kids are craving more flavor and variety, they just may not know it themselves. My former picky eater loves pestos and spicy foods – the more flavor the better! This is why Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are unfortunately so popular on playground – they are bursting with spice and flavor that kids are craving (and unfortunately also artificial colors, flavors, preservatives, and other toxic ingredients). So don’t be afraid to give them foods that have flavor – they might find a new excitement with food after eating a boring bland diet for so long.
18. Supplement. Because picky eaters diet is often lacking in nutrient rich plant based foods, it is a good idea to have an insurance plan. Get your picky eater on a high quality multi-vitamin and/or foods-based supplement. This will help to make up for some of the nutrients that they are missing in their diets. Work with a nutritionist or health practitioner – they tend to have access to higher quality supplements than the ones you might find on the grocery store shelf.
19. Check their zinc status – essential to the normal growth and development of animals and humans. Zinc is required for the synthesis of steroid hormones by the adrenal glands, required for growth. Low zinc levels can cause picky eating in kids. Supplementing with zinc can also sometimes correct unexplained slow growth in children. Contact a nutritionist about having your child’s zinc status checked – there are liquid zinc solutions that can be used to assess zinc levels right in their office.
20. Set a good example. Picky eating runs in families – but is it nature or nurture? According to a 2005 study, parents who consumed more fruits and vegetables were less likely to pressure their kids to eat and had kids who were less picky and consumed more fruits and vegetables. The study concluded that “parents should focus less on “picky eating” behavior and more on modeling fruit and vegetable consumption for their children.” Kids watch what their parents do, and tend to follow their lead. So when parents choose and eat more fruits and veggies, so will their kids.
Do not give up!! First of all, realize that transforming a picky eater is no picnic. Some kids can fit more than one of the above “types” of picky eaters, which can make the challenge even more difficult. Don’t expect a picky eater to change overnight – most kids who are picky will need a lot of encouragement, and despite improving, could always be a little on the picky side. But even little improvements in their diet – can add up over time. But realize – it is worth the effort, kids who do not eat a well balanced diet are going to be at an increased risk for diseases later in life. Obesity and diabetes are rising in this country, and changing that starts at home in the kitchen. Keep reminding yourself that it is worth every frustrating minute of your time and energy to help them expand their palate. Some picky eaters can be underweight because they do not consume enough foods to maintain their weight, but others can be overweight due to the over-consumption of high calorie, nutrient deficient foods. In both cases, nutrient deficiencies can exist. Your child’s pediatrician can monitor their growth to make sure they are on track for height and weight.
Consider Seeking a Specialist:
If your child says that a food gives them a tummy ache, a headache, or makes them feel nauseous or “sick,” I highly recommend seeing an allergist who can screening them for food allergies and a Nutritionist/Functional Medicine practitioner who can have a food intolerance panel run. Kids with food intolerances can be pickier, because they might be avoiding foods that just make them feel “icky.” Other possible symptoms of food intolerances can be unexplained muscle/joint aches, gas, constipation, diarrhea, frequent fractures, poor growth, mood imbalances/tantrums, weight gain, seizures, bed wetting, and asthma.
If you have ruled out food intolerances, and tried the above tips, and your picky eater does not improve at all after several weeks of trying – it might be worth seeing a feeding specialist who can diagnose what is going on, and provide therapy to help your child’s eating habits improve. Severe cases of picky eating are called Selective Eating Disorder and can last until adulthood if not treated. The definition of a true eating disorder is defined as abnormal eating habits that cause detriment to health, and can also interfere with social and professional relationships. Read No Age on Picky Eating in the Wall Street Journal to learn more.
Article written by Nutritionist Sara Vance, author of the book The Perfect Metabolism Plan A regular guest on Fox 5 San Diego, you can see many of Sara’s segments on her media page. She also offers corporate nutrition, school programs, consultations, and affordable online eCourses. Download her free 40+ page Metabolism Jumpstart eBook here.
©2015, all rights reserved. Sara Vance.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Wow. This is THE most helpful resource I have ever found on picky eating. Thank you! My son falls somewhere between the snacker/controller. I appreciate the tips. I’ll try adding more protein to his diet. After reading this Mom’s Guide (http://www.1dental.com/moms-guide/), I took a closer inventory of what he eats – mostly sugar and processed foods! We definitely need to make some changes and so again, I really appreciate these tips!!
[…] bananas, raisins, and other healthy snacks? This is a great approach for a picky eater too (read 20 Tips for Picky Eaters for more). Our soccer coach a couple of seasons ago requested orange slices for a half time boost […]
[…] To get more tips for helping transform your picky eater, read 20 Tips for Transforming a Picky Eater. […]
© copyright 2019 Sara Vance